Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

2 days before Valentine's day, we're sitting at our local bar and somehow get onto a conversation that basically goes like this "you make me miserable." "omg! you make me miserable too!" "want to go to Red Lobster? I have a gift certificate." "YES." Then we went to Red Lobster for our 'breakup dinner' and ordered the…

I was dating a guy from high school who attended my family's church. I was barely 16 and hadn't decided to give up the v-card yet (he was 3 years older). He broke up with me because I "made him masturbate in the shower" which was, in his mind, a sin. (I'd like to emphasize the fact that he didn't break up with me…

I was very, very briefly married to someone I grew up with. I never dated the man- he always kind of grossed me out for a variety of reasons. He was convinced that if he got married that his foreign tour of duty would be deferred because it happened to a friend of his- so he talked me into marrying him. Of our…

I was in Large European City, for a class I was taking with a bunch of other undergraduates from my Small Canadian College. We were living together in a skinny four-story flat. With me was the boy I had lost my virginity to and was subsequently half-heartedly dating: nice enough, almost funny, terrible in bed (though…

I am in a serious but long-distance relationship. It's been a year with this guy and already I'm been planning my wedding vows and my dress and how I'll communicate with this mom, who has a thick foreign accent, for the rest of my life.

Oh boy! Do I have stories! However I doubt there is enough bandwidth to go through them all. There is one where the girl I was dating was a prostitute (I was young enough to think massage therapist actually meant massage therapist) and I ran for the hills when I had to sit with her pimp, drinking tea, whilst she…

So I'm the dumper in this story - but if ever there was justification for a bad dumping it was this;

I've actually commented about this on another article but my friends little sister, who is 12 years old, broke up with someone in the most hilarious and hardcore way ever. Like never in a million years would I be this clever and I am an adult. She apparently went up to her then boyfriend and said "Want to see a magic…

Sorry, this is long, there are two break ups and they're not really bonkers or funny, but I just wanted to write them down.

My fiancé called to tell that he got married, as I sat on the bed, looking at my wedding gown.

My last boyfriend and I dated unofficially for a year then officially for a year. He dumped me in a text while I was on the Megabus to NYC for a week of job interviews. I had just seen him two days before so this seemed a little fucked up/inappropriate. I cried in Pret A Manger for a couple hours then tried to pull it…

I went to college at a very conservative Baptist university (for reasons) and at the sweet, naive age of 19 started dating this guy who was in the Biblical Studies program to become a pastor. I was all pumped about this guy and my first big girl relationship and thought this might be the guy I'd eventually marry.…

After an emotionally—and, rarely, physically—abusive relationship in a foreign country of four long years, my foreign partner convinced me to lie about a family illness to take an unpaid leave of absence from a job I was just about to get promoted at and go home to visit my family for the first time in two years (I…

I was a senior in college, and after a series of relationships that lasted each school year (or nearly so) I was on a bout of several short term fling type things.

April Fools Day. I thought it was a joke.

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

One day I overheard a girl yelling at a boy on the (pay)phone with the same name as my boyfriend. Being a one stoplight town, I was curious and asked her his last name. Turns out, she was yelling at her/my boyfriend. We hitchhiked to his house (with a super creepy dude) and upon knocking on the door, discovered he was…

One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…

My naive 18-year-old self wasn't the best at separating a guys interest in dating me with his interest in sleeping with me. I was also a virgin, or at least I was until I started hanging out with my manager from work. Since he was my manager, our hooking up was hush, hush.