My dog learned how to slide the pan in his crate out from under the crate and move throughout the house WHILE still in the crate. Sometimes though, the rubber corners on the metal crate would cause him to get wedged in the hallway, so he'd be stuck there for an hour until I got home. He also learned how to press the…

I tried to do agility classes with my Golden. He would mostly just run around the obstacles. He was like- why would I expend energy when there's an easier way? But whatevs, he's a therapy dog now and that fits his temperament and energy level perfectly.

That's the attitude my sister (who's a behavioral psychologist and clicker trains her golden) takes, too, though she's usually a real rule-lover. I, myself, am always a fan of disobedience.

Golden Retriever Gifs!

"Never living south of the Mason-Dixon Line."

you should shed excess water weight by peeing on everything they own

I was asked in an interview about these things once. I said, "Oh... I feel like I should tell you that's not legal to ask in an interview." The guy was pissed. He finished the interview with a red face and no eye contact. Needless to say I didn't get the job, but I didn't really want to work for him after that anyway.

'responsibility as a woman to raise a child'

I had it along with bacne, chestne, neckne and good ol' fashioned acne for all my teen years and well into my twenties. DON'T use Accutane unless you have too—it is a demon's elixer and will make you look like your summer home is in Chernobyl for months. Plus side—it really does clear up breakouts and thanks to it and…

I switched brands — from Hellmann's (reduced fat variety) to Anything Besides Hellmann's, because fuck these scumbag corporate bullies and their bullshit disingenuous nuisance lawsuit right it their collective ass.

Did anyone check if those steak people were werewolves? Did they ask if the silverware was stainless steel? I wouldn't go out on a full mo0n around that city.

Katniss Everdeen had already killed her first five teenagers by that age!

I made dis! :) Everything went perfectly. She is 7 pounds and 10 ounces of screaming, shitting, snotting awesomeness! Also, I love Percocet.

Every time I see articles blaming millennials for this, that or another thing, I think of this:

"(a)nything more than that is unacceptable." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. K.

#3 is pretty much the only ACCEPTABLE item on this list.

So, I'm a fat chick, so sometimes I buy ON's plus size stuff, sometimes I buy their straight sized XXL stuff. Let me tell you something: while they no doubt have some special tailoring on some plus items, a lot of it really is just the regular stuff scaled up. That's precisely why I can do an XXL or whatever random…

And let's be real. Those jeans cost approximately 27 cents to make. Even if the plus size jeans cost 32 cents to make, Gap is still making a significant profit.

Let's Bleed Wall Street Criminals...