First, just buy a bag of frozen berries from the grocery. Is it flash frozen? It doesn’t matter.

They sure can be if you make them a certain way. That’s what that link to the Are Smoothies Healthy? article is for :)

That entirely depends on what you put in the smoothie.

I can honestly say, if my mom had felt the need to abort me, I would understand and be OK with it. I know anti-choice activists like to snakily ask that “Well what if your mom had an abortion?” and my thought it, if she’d needed to, and did, fine, because I love her and would have wanted her to do what was best for…

If my company did it during work hours and got a tax break, you aren’t happy. If the staff do it on their own and not during work hours, you aren’t happy. So, fuck right off.

But I was already farting with abandon.

I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

My boob.

When I was little, my younger sister and I were in dance and we had a holiday recital called “The Night Before Christmas.” The older brother of one of our fellow dancers had been cast as the part of Santa, who was very important as he was in the background of almost every dance and played the male dancer part in a few…

Long before I’d ever heard of PUA culture, a weirdly inconsistent and fairly red-flaggy former beau got in touch with me years later, after I’d married and was in the process of divorce. We chatted online a bit and then he asked me out for a drink. I agreed, knowing that the stakes were low, I was older and wiser and…

Every now and then guys will ask me if these are my “real eyes.” I’m pretty sure they’re asking if they’re colored contacts, like you said, but I’ve gotten to the point where I always reply, “No, I carved them out of a dead hobo’s skull.” It’s just confusing and off-putting enough to make them leave me alone.

Moms are neg ninjas.

I can just about guarantee that this guy was practicing negging ‘cause some self-proclaimed PUA told him to. The persistence kinda points in that direction as well.

I wish. I’ve had pretty great luck with men but that guy was a real piece of work. I did tell him his ostrich skin cowboy boots that he’d just paid $800 for were fake. He was Danish but super into Texas culture, so I think that hurt him more than a wangpunch.

I feel like there should be an award given out annually to whoever does the best job of kicking this guy in the nuts.

Did you punch him right in the dick???

“I love homely girls. You remind me of my grandma. But you’re kinda sexy, can I have your number?”

The husband and I were at a bar, which was having a karaoke night. We’d had a bit to drink (it was our first night away from our new baby, so we were taking advantage of this big time). This particular night was the finals for a competition, so the singers were actually good. After listening to the hopefuls tear it…

I would've taken that as a strait up compliment.

(At the office) “As far as women go, you know your stuff pretty well. I hope you asked for a salary that outranks the other women lateral to your position.” Not the other men, mind you, just the other women lateral to me. I may or may not have kicked this guy in the nuts.