Christians HATE IT when you point that out.

It is going to take all of my strength not to refer to it as Giftmas while I am deep in Alabama this Christmas.

Are you sure? I think it might be a bit wibbly-wobbly...

I'm an atheist, so I celebrate Giftmas.

Okay, new rule, you are only allowed to receive presents on Christmas if you agree to be crucified on Easter.

"Who knows what "Happy Holidays" even means??"

Well, I'm a fat woman of a certain age (never had kids), but I have been known late at night at the grocery store> <after midnight at a 24 hr store>, to park in the stork parking places and do the pregnancy waddle into the grocery store.

This only makes me love pandas more, for being smart enough to trick the humans.

The OQLF does.

Okay, I'm neither American nor Canadian, but having lived in Canada for 10 years, I'd say Canada kicks American ass, and fuck a Starbucks.

Ugh, Food Babe. She is seriously the worst. A total hack who promotes pseudoscience, has absolutely no education in any kind of nutrition or food science (and yet holds herself up as some kind of authority), and basically does nothing but scaremonger and bully. Terrible, terrible person all around.

I always really, really hope that "mistakes" like this are the work of a seriously badass employee.

"Accidentally"

"i'm young, rich, white, and quirky" - literally everything lena dunham has ever written.

Her head falls off.

YES. Another chance to shamelessly self-promote my flowering store. But for serious, I had zero idea how hard it was as a buyer to effing FIND decent plus size clothes. One of the things I learned when opening up was that most clothing is sold by packs- so S-M-L or 1x-2x-3x. This is frustrating for the X-tra S AND…

She got me at "nothing is dry-clean only." Little compares to my disappointment when I glance at the label of a pretty item to see that Satanic script.

"Anna Wintour challenges bucket of water to not turn to ice when poured on her head." Great, now I have Foreigner stuck in my head! COLD AS ICE!

Must not make joke about ice queens and buckets of ice water. MUST NOT MAKE JOKE ABOUT ICE QUEENS AND BUCKETS OF ICE WATER!! Her last name is even Wintour! GAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Runs out of the room screaming incoherently.