This is adorable.

Dear Men Who Aren't Firefighters,

A puppy-saving fireman is now my gold star boyfriend standard. Good luck, every other man in the world.

Geez, dude.

In spite of all the ways this author believes her unplanned pregnancy made her grow up....kids are really fucking hard. Pregnancy is fucking hard. Babies are fucking hard. Pregnancy and kids are extremely tough on relationships. They are tough on careers.

If you think that's tasteless, just think about that time their agent pitched a cover of the Talking Heads song "Burning Down The House."

My Golden eats ALL the fruits (that won't kill her) with no need for peanut butter. However, her favorite treat is the peanut butter jar when there is no more.

Did anyone here catch the Twitter rant Norm McDonald went on about Bret Easton Ellis (or whatever) after BEE said Alice Munro was overrated and didn't deserve the Nobel prize? It was completely amazing. I've always loved Norm, but now it's on a whole new level.

Every doggy daycare should do this just as a matter of course. How awesome would that be for all involved?

Totally. On my son's first Halloween (8 months old) we dressed him up as a Chippendale dancer, shirtless, wrist cuffs, bow tie, jeans. People went nuts. One his second he was Gary Busey, and he wasn't talking clearly yet and he still had that toddler stumble and didn't know what the f**k was going on, so he killed it.…

Based on my personal experience, most kids are pretty adamant about picking their own Halloween costumes by age 4 or 5. My oldest was at 3. Jerk! His name is Jack and I had years of "jack" themed costumes planned out for him and he had to go and ruin it with friggin Buzz Lightyear! He was a Jack O'Lantern when he was…

I was raised by super religious Catholic lunatics. When I was 6 years old, I went out on Halloween dressed as the virgin mary. THE VIRGIN MARY. This happened.

Your gif brings me endless joy. Or maybe just 14 small hour long bits of joy.

Unengaged people making wedding pinterests seems pathetic to me. I'm going to get slammed by 50 people telling me "It's just good sense and I loooovvve weddings!:))))!" but I'm saying it: It looks pathetic.

This phrase happened:

Miller High Life is the on-again-off-again boyfriend of that straight girl you were hella tight with in your early twenties (mostly because she kept flirting with you and you were just the newly out new gal in town and desperate to get laid). You could never understand what she saw in him because he still hadn't…

What happens if you come home and find it's all wilted?