His first mistake was registering his ship in Thailand.

One has to wonder why Eve Plumb didn't come forward until 2003.

Despite the positive attitude, Idi Amin never learned that rationalizing your eating habits by adding fruit does not make for an effective moral inventory.

You could have washed down those candy bars with some of these Rod Carew Coke bottles I have from 1986.

You could have washed down those candy bars with some of these Rod Carew Coke bottles I have from 1986.

Kirby Puckett Bar

Was that a list of horrible girls' names or the entry order for MTV's Teen Mom Royal Rumble?

So when does Frank Ocean come out with his ode to the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction?

At the golf course I work at on the weekends, the Pro brings in a variety box of donuts to sell for a buck a piece. The first one to go is the powdered jelly, because I take it. But there's this one unfilled long john with white frosting and covered in nuts. It's always the last one purchased....usually by some…

The fans involved felt so bad that they sent Lewis copy of Shakira's first English speaking album and a Lionel O Gauge Scale Polar Express.

Gronkey Punch?

furiously masturbating out one-liners

Everyone who went down on you would complain about the smell of zinc oxide.

He's totally getting traded to the Wolves, which will prompt the following response from Kevin Love:

Even more brilliant than the article was pulling off the "Kobe Chair Pose" on national TV.

What is it about those pictures of Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift that make me want to watch a two hour YouTube video of Zooey Deschanel playing four square with a stuffed penguin?

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At least he didn't give us the "in flight magazine" pose....

It isn't really rape because you don't know if she wanted to or not

It isn't really rape because you don't know if she wanted to or not.