This is the biggest failure for Gudel's company since sales for their toilet training aid "Poo Nanny" mysteriously dried up.

Prince Clapton Zoso, Duke of Axford.

The name of the first royal child is irrelevant. It's the second child that should have the cool name, because that's the kid that'll be all bad ass. I hope the second one is a girl, and they name her Vinegar.

I prefer Slut Bunwalla

As long as we are hammering the Big 10(27?), how about Minnesota's week? First, AJ Barker writes that Tumblr manifesto because of his butthurt, then the entire Golden Gopher offense outgained by Le'Veon Bell, 266-96. To top it all off, Coach Kill has a seizure at halftime, probably caused by watching his run defense…

Perhaps is should be "Bad Investments 101: Record Labels and Restaurants"

There's one class missing from that curriculum: Personal Finance

CSN missed a golden sponsorship opportunity with the replay. They should have gone with "Drive to the Cracker Barrel".

Fins to the left, coast

The only thing missing from his manifesto is praise for A.J. Barker, who gave him the courage to walk away from football because of irritating discomfort of butthurt. Ed only wishes he could have read A.J.'s letter, but his typewriter doesn't get the interwebs.

"What? They're remaking Red Dawn? And Swayze's cool with it? I'll show him!"

She'd like to thank her fans for their support, and she is looking forward to moving forward once the Peak Performance Anti-Freeze Mediation Session and the Coke Zero Court Hearing are completed.

If you eat the Tampa Bay Lightning, do you crap the Oklahoma City Thunder?

Was this a Lakers game, or a trailer for "Dude, where's my Triangle?"

Oh, there's one man who can defeat Adrien Broner.

I had no idea that Hope Solo was the love child of Tina Turner and Chuck Finley.

You just know this girl only dates guys who claim that they were the first ones in their high school to like Dave Matthews Band.

I have to believe this is the porn that Martha Stewart masturbates to, the kind where she pulls the 1000 thread count, infant slave laborer picked Egyptian cotton and Chinese orphaned superfluous daughter-spun silk cozy off her sperm whale ivory Rabbit Pearl and goes to town like a 12 year old with his first SI…

With that stare down from Young, Reilly might as well have been growing a moustache for Movember, drinking a Diet Coke and playing left tackle for the 1986 Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

You know what's more ignominious than Akron allowing UMass their first FBS win? The fact that until this post, most people probably didn't realize UMass is an FBS team.