Her Bud Light, still half-full, got Greg right between the numbers, soaking his Demaryius Thomas jersey.

At least Donnnnn can use his rant as his senior thesis for his degree in Betamax repair at Northeast Wisconsin Technical College and Cheese Shoppe.

Dear Bassist for Tripping Icarus, please forward these comments to fascist fuckwads who, when they're not rubbing one out to the Michele Bachmann/Gretchen Carlson scissoring session they've meticulously created in their Grain Belt Premium* and discount gas station cigarette coated brains, are campaigning to approve…

How about Gregg, the Jingoist Jellyfish?

To be fair, Ravens officials can only pay him with so many Taiwanese hookers covered in sausage gravy before immigration begins to get suspicous.

So I take it they're just going to remodel the adjoining assistant coach viewing room?

Das Smoot?

Jack Sock rubs Roddick the wrong way.

So Davonne Bess really is going to blow up this year?

Aw Christ, and Marty just got his parents back together at the Enchantment Under the Fjord Dance.

Oh, don't even get me started on merging.....

Oh yeah....it's takes about 5 seconds on 494 to figure that out!

I would prefer that the person walk an infinite hallway with that old guy from the Menards ads randomly jumping out and yelling "MENARDS!". But we're just talking semantics.

For the love of God, please do not genralize all Minnesotans based on Michele Bachmann. The majority of us fucking HATE her. The only thing more disappointing to us than the Vikings is that her husband hasn't been caught tossing the goulash of a 15 year old boy he met on Craigslist.

Yeah, and that seven note Sanford and Son theme song rip off followed by "Go Pack Go" doesn't make anyone want to stab themselves in the ears with a meat thermometer.

*actually part of the joke.

What do you expect from a community whose entire public school system is based on taking 13 years to teach a single question: How many championships have your team won?

I'm starting to think the Mayans were right. Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are engaged.

C'mon...if it's legitmate hazing, then the rookie's body has ways of shutting down the feelings of humiliation.

What I found more disturbing, well more like depressing, was that Chris in Syracuse was a 12 year old boy from Fairfield, CT named Will Lucas.