What If Dirk Nowitzki Was Missing A Chromosome And Lived In Phoenix?

The common man? Fuck you.

It's not the first time WPXI has run a story with holes in it.

and the past is utterly worthless

"I'm not surprised China declined," McCharles says. "They have a very exacting game plan for winning the Olympics and they like to keep some cards hidden."

I take issue with Mr. Easterbrooks' nomenclature of the scandal. The classier epithet would be "Sinnerggate".

He can't pick a worse song than Brad Lidge.

Nice to see Randy is still close to Jerry Ball after all these years.

What do you think would happen if terrorists bombed the Super Bowl?

He first tried to write "The NES Kid", but he figured the initial 45 minutes of blowing to get it working right would have put him on some kind of FBI watch list.

He's an oily penis

Veer into beagle dissertations, and you will curse the written word for the rest of your days.

The only park that face belongs in is A1-EZ OK Park.

She should have went with the, "he had hash browns in his pants" excuse. At least there's a precedent there.

So much for my "smothered and covered" fantasy!

NASCAR’s Cool With Tweeting During Races

I was able to drown myself in so much whiskey, beer, and Italian sausage

Damn....When did Soon Yi come down with that Benjamin Button disorder?

Is it best enjoyed "in bed"?

so it's only natural that he reach for the hard stuff