My mom tells me she fell down the stairs in our old house while holding me when I was a baby and that it was super scary. And I turned out fine! In fact the only scars on my body are from when I was 15 or older and totally my fault!

I've been through a lot of weight fluctuations in my life, and I've gotten to the point where I have zero tolerance for weight comments, good or bad. For people who bring it up once it's a quick "I actually would rather not talk about my weight" and an immediate change in the topic. For the more persistent family…

This reminds me of the time that my mom asked my then 8-year-old brother to sign his new passport at the airport. He decided to sign it with his internet username. For five years, his passport was signed by "taskmaster" and somehow he never got in any trouble for it, but it was a little scary to fly with him.

I don't know anything about the Kardashian finances, but if you have a relatively low interest rate on a mortgage, and can put that money into higher-yielding investments, then even if you have the money for the house it would still make sense to take out a mortgage.

Of course they are. I'm just saying Kim and Kanye are not exactly two people who randomly met each other a year ago and had a whirlwind romance. They've known each other forever.

You know that they've been friends for like 10 years already, right? I think these two crazy kids might actually make it.

They are seriously one of my favorite celebrity couples. I have no idea why. I wouldn't want to spend time with them. But I am rooting for them SO HARD.

I don't know man, they were friends for years before they got together and I don't really like either of them individually, but I think they're kind of perfect for each other.

That was amazing. And depressing....

I don't really know how Hollywood works, but this movie was just an excuse to write off a family vacation to Africa as a work expense, right?

that's the best part!

Yes, but they have potatoes deluxes (said in a French accent or they'll have no idea what you're ordering), which are WAY fancier than French fries :P

French people literally line up for blocks to get into the Abercrombie and Fitch store on Champs-Élysées, I don't think anything is too American and tacky for them.

As a French citizen who has never actually lived in France (save a combined five months of study abroad there), let me tell you, it's not all that glamorous being French! I means it's nice knowing I can work anywhere in Europe, but also the Chicago consulate gives my email address to every candidate in elections for…

That spelling is my favorite thing I've seen all day.

Glad to hear that you'll be getting some help. And I certainly don't mean that you shouldn't be posting here, I'm glad people have been so understanding and helpful.

I don't meant to be rude, but I've been following this saga for a while, and I feel the need to ask- are you getting any professional help? This is sounding like something that might need more than internet support.

It looks like some bizarre photoshop to this complete non-expert, but I have no idea why somebody would do that.

Thank you! Stupid kinja...

Still not as good as this one: