Someone told me that, too. Despite having lived in France for 25 years, my slang is pretty bad, so I had to Google it and found this:

My fluffball refuses to drink tap water. She only drinks the refrigerated Brita filtered water and would prefer that I add an ice cube or two, thanks.

Same. I would have had my face smashed against the window and been so excited. I still get excited when I see animals in my backyard. We had a fox and three little foxes in the backyard last winter it had snowed and they were playing and I got bounced up from the couch and was like, “YAAAAAASSSSS! WILD PUPPIES” and my…

Never get a yappy little dog when you need someone to do a cat’s work.

I was just thinking that maybe I should be more appreciative of how my parents raised me. My dad would have been watching out the door with me and wouldn’t have cared less about his “blue floatie” and I know I wouldn’t have cared. I mean that is how we were with deer and rabbit growing up, bears would have been the…

When Bubba graduates do you think I could hire him as my assistant? There's lots of stuff of my desk for him to knock over

I adore dogs, but I recently got my first cat (I have a long commute and it wouldn’t be fair to a dog).

No “dickish” story to relate but it’s a New York Dolls story so how can I not share it?

While in dealer’s school in Las Vegas, I befriended this skinny little Puerto Rican dude name Alfonso from the lower East Side of Manhattan. The NYD came up in conversation and he said he was best friends with them and had known…

I think the headline should have read: Man Whose Opinion Ceased To Matter Three Decades Ago Says More Idiotic Drivel To Stay Relevant.

Off topic, kinda. I used to work in a lab drawing blood. It was summer and the AC wasn't working properly. We were all slightly crabby and drenched in sweat. One day this fellow comes in and as I'm wrapping the elastic band around his are, I comment on his name—Robert E. Lee. He must have assumed my accent made me a…

You know what? As a now-white person AND a Law Enforcement person, I actually can see a good thing about this guy: he's the kind of person I love in my job, who spares me of several minutes of "He did", "I didn't", and go straight into doing the very thing he's being accused of, right in front of me and several other…

Ok, so this example didn't happen online, but I have had the online equivalent happen several times in the past.

On an airplane, a guy across the aisle from me tried to start a conversation based on the subject matter of what he saw me reading. He immediately worked his resume and "credentials" into his end of the…

I've worked with animals my whole career and this is what I tell people who are struggling with whether to put an animal to sleep: It's a gift to offer euthanasia to our pets when they are suffering or have a poor quality of life. Pets are not capable of understanding why they are in pain, or why they must undergo a…

Here I am both realizing that and realizing I never realized how frequently she uses the term lesbian as a perjorative. Not just because it's lesbophobic (and let's be honest probably transphobic since she's talking about gender presentation and appearance usually when she does it) but also because she's clearly…

Intersectionality is not failing. It is a thing, a concept, a method of looking at a problem. It can't fail because it isn't doing anything. It cant fail any more then life is failing. No, one can fail at life, but life is and will be, whether you personally fail or not. 'Life' itself - does not fail.

On the one hand, this is better written than almost every other article in Jezebel history (Tolentino doesn't think "Ugh" is an acceptable sentence, or resort to a lot of buzz word-heavy phrases). But the writing style really doesn't feel natural. It's trying a bit too hard, and you can hear the struggle.

I have a hard time appreciating anything Lena Dunham does because she's just patently unlikeable. It has nothing to do with gender, as some might quickly want to point out. There are plenty of men and women that I find unlikeable. I find Lena Dunham unlikeable for what she represents: a daughter of wealth and…

"I excel at avoiding the ubiquitous—push notifications, Knausgaard; libertarians, pumpkin spice—and as a result I came to Not That Kind of Girl in a near-amniotic lack of context."

This opening line is way more annoying than anything Lena Dunham has ever done (except, you know, all of the clueless racist BS).

DO NOT taint the good name of Zadie Smith.

I am so sick of hearing about this slag. She treats everyone around her like shit and has since her pre-fame days. I refuse to let this walking personality disorder be the standard-bearer for my industry or my feminism.