i feel like i’d get stressed — one time i was high at a giant crawfish boil in new orleans and i got so scared of all the eating work that i just ate ears of corn

Agreed. He’s not insane. There was actually an article on Cracked that talked about spree killers. It was very informative.

Cop is all like-

I instantly like Dunst more than I already did.

His red skin was inflamed, almost sick. His belly fat hung over his hip bones. He slid his thick penis along the line of my thigh, as it hardened.

Ya so, Jeb or Rubio or Trump or whoever... doesn’t matter. Hillary is going to curb stomp there teeth into the sewer. They are all toast!

I just bought a rose quartz ring. I’m so ahead of times...

If you shop online, you can set your Amazon Smile account to donate a small percentage of every purchase to your local PP. Mine goes to the Greater Texas affiliates, because damn if we don’t need all the help we can get down here.

sveta turns away for a moment; it’s more than she can bear. she stares out the window over the sink at a vast expanse of snow, as if into the uncertain future.

Bad pun time. Dropping the bird creates an international crisis: the downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece, and the destruction of China.

WHO DOES THIS TWO LITRE BOTTLE OF GARBAGE JUICE THINK HE IS?

WOW. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME GET THEIR GRANDPA!!

I am 100% certain that this guy does not understand what fascism is.

Yup. How did “PC” become a derogatory term for “not hateful”?

If anyone’s curious why Mr. Wells starts off his statement with “Every time this happens,” well, let’s just say he has a long and sordid history of this kind of behavior. Specifically, he was the guy that made so much noise over Jennifer Lawrence being “too big” for The Hunger Games, and said that readers should…

And what if you’d heard a fellow female journalist, sitting two seats away, call it “brutal“?

Wait. He tells women to toughen up but turns into a yellow bellied coward when the twitterverse brings down the the hammer?!

I’m going to blow your mind here — what you have personally experienced doesn’t actually encompass everything that exists in the world.

I’m really proud of my state for this. It’s the first time in a long time when we’ve made news for reasons that didn’t make me go, “Ugh.”