Once again, The Onion got there first.

Apparently, Muslims never suffer from mental health issues. When we do something bad, it’s entirely of our own volition. When a white person does something bad, it’s a defect in that otherwise pristine, gorgeous brain of theirs.

““very deranged individual [with] a lot of problems over a long period of time.””

But enough about the President. 

Also, the idea of Rand Paul mowing his own lawn is humorous to me for absolutely no reason.

He’s a libertarian so doing whatever they want whenever they want for personal gain is their entire philosophy.

To quote the great and wise Aja, “I don’t want to be the one, but I’m gonna be the one”: I’m finding it difficult to muster sympathy for the man that screamed about “his freedoms” at the TSA while being detained on his way to an antiabortion rally, who only opposed GOP ACA repeals because they weren’t cruel enough.

I bet he mows at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday, and then plays music full blast at midnight. 

I love that they’re pinning it on the neighbor being a liberal and disagreeing with Rand Paul’s views, when it could just as easily have been that Rand Paul is one of those assholes who blows leaves onto your lawn.

I know that I should feel bad about this, but I’m having trouble mustering it up. I’m a terrible person.

No. Shoe. Household. I don’t care if you’re the Pope, take your damn shoes off. Also, you’ve got to out of your goddamn mind if you’re gonna Rick James my couch.

That’s one cultural difference that I just absolutely don’t get. Where I’m from, you take your shoes off immediately when you step into the house, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. Feet are cold? Have some slippers. It would be UNFATHOMABLE to walk into someone’s house with shoes. Like bitch, you gonna scrub…

Exactly. T.O.Y.S. all the way

OMG I would kill over shoes on my sofa - who raised YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

I’m Canadian, where no shoes in the house is standard. I had an American friend come to visit, and she left her shoes on, which she had just worn while walking in the snow/salt/slush, in my apartment. I was horrified.

I think it is regional. I’m in Florida, so in various areas of my building women almost always have half naked feet in some form of sandals. I say various areas because on the floors where the tech folk live, it’s supreme casual and even the guys are wearing Birks, but the upper floors with sales and execs it’s like…

I worked in an office where a VP (older, distinguished man, lived in one of the most upper-crust suburbs in the country) would occasionally wear boat shoes to the office (no socks, natch) — and then CLIP HIS TOENAILS in his office.

I tell my friends they have to take their shoes off because my downstairs neighbors are assholes. But it’s actually me who is the asshole. Feel free to use this trick.

Also, clipping your nails at work should be punishable by death.

We are uncivilized monsters over here. I think people are just so wrapped up in themselves, they don’t consider what other people think of their actions.