DO YOU GET YOURS 'ON THE COUNTER'? I do! I have a lovely yellow twinset, a pink argyle cardigan and a green short sleeve jewelneck that I gave to my mom.

I buy cashmere from Land's End On The Counter Sales. Seriously, cashmere cardigans for like $30.

Preach! Cashmere is delicious. All you need is one piece.

Land's End cashmere cardigans! They are the best, affordable, last forever, and go with anything. I also hand wash mine, so they stay soft and wonderful and I don't have to go to the dry cleaner (I hate the dry cleaner). No, it won't complete your life, but you'll thank me later I promise.

I was part of the Nielsen family, in the 90s!

One month in Europe won't complete you, but several months or years in Europe - or any other foreign country - will teach you things you would never had otherwise learned about yourself. Living abroad will blow your provincial mind. In a good way.

Good cashmere, though, just might actually complete you. Not the cheap,…

God, Hayley shilling Hamburger Helper. Sad. She played hockey with MEN for fucksake. Total icon of the sport, serving up the macaroni and hamburger. Yeeesh.

My in-laws are a Nielsen family. My husband sometimes goes over to watch good shows to balance out the Fox News my father in law watches.

I used to get a lot of phone calls wanting to survey my household about tv or radio habits. All times except once, they changed their minds when they found out there was no man living in the household.

My girlfriend was a Nielson Diary person last year. We answered it very honestly, and loaded that log book up with RuPaul's Drag Race, every episode of The Real Housewives the aired that week, and as many PBS documentaries as we could fit in! Trying to skew the averages as best we could!

It's true that ladies don't start fights. But we will fucking end them.

It's the only time I watch hockey (Bad Canadian)! But the women's team is seriously killer. They pwn the podium EVERY TIME.

"Douchebaggery is what leads 4's to think the world owes them 9's. Douchebaggery hollows you out from inside."

You know what? Fuck this. Fuck anyone who ties their donation to an arbitrary requirement like 'let me motorboat you' or linked to 'number of shares'. The same as donating 1% of sales of your shitty pink product. Charity isn't fucking charity if you're tying it in with your own self interest, it's just a nasty and…

Americas Funniest Home Videos has conclusively proved that getting hit in the nuts is HILARIOUS! So, if you see one of these guys, just reciprocate with well placed blunt object. But be sure to - "inform everyone involved that it was just a joke."

There was a commenter who responded to me yesterday. I can't remember her name. She had breast cancer. I think she had a really great take on the issue.

Defund obamacare or I'll shutdown the government! HILARIOUS.

How about this - I'll let them motorboat me if they agree to pay my aunt's ongoing medical bills for her post-cancer treatment, including further reconstructive surgery, therapy sessions, and extensive screening to catch reoccurrences. Oh, and also genetic tests for me, my mother, my female cousins, and every other…

Or, you know, you could just give money to charity, not tell anybody, and not be a disgusting asshole.

Follow me on Twitter or I'll kill my dog! OMG, wasn't that one hilarious too?