gout

Skull fucked to death by a gang white nationalists who discover he’s 25% black.

Slipped on baby oil while in his Gimp Suit because the sheep bucked to hard.

Slowly. Painfully. Like watching Hannity.

Waterboarded to death by pissing Russian prostitutes.

Been daydreaming all morning about my dream Roger Ailes death scenario.

It’s like the Senate

I love a good baseball beef. In hockey, a beef results in two dudes kicking the shit out of each other. In basketball, it’s done through passive aggressive sniping in postgame interviews.

In return for an affirmative answer to the grooms proposal, the bride-to-be will receive the grooms 2018 1st rounder, 2018 2nd rounder, the right to swap first round picks in 2019 (top three protected), and the grooms mid-level exception (mid-level exception being the nickname of the grooms dick.)

That’s a solid “Daniel Kicks Johnny in the Face” on Simmons’ list of 14 80s Movies that Explain Celtics Playoff Losses (and Why Magic Actually Committed an Offensive Foul on the Baby Sky Hook).

Yes.

who do you think make up all those legacy students?

And hit a few minor league locales along the way, too.

New road trip idea: A cross country tour of all the major league stadiums exclusively on their Bark At The Park nights.

one of my favorite basketball men

He just released a short film that he wrote and directed starring Cedric The Entertainer and I’m amazed that Deadspin hasn’t brought back Grierson & Leitch to review it.

I agree.

Boris is the best guy in the NBA. Not the best at playing basketball, just all around best guy.

There’s only been one player labeled a “LeBron Stopper” who has ever been remotely successful at stopping Bron in the playoffs and it’s this beautiful man right here...