My Phillies wang is growing just thinking about when we land Trout in a few years (or sooner, due to tradebait).

Eric Bruntlett would be proud.

Why has nobody suggested just wearing sunglasses when looking at the sun?

I guess that’s why Billy Joel wrote a song about us.

As a lifelong Allentonian, I approve of this post.

So the best case scenario is a soft grounder back to the pitcher? Ouch.

My dad and I saw this live and, being good baseball people, immediately scoffed at that answer. Then we turned to each other and basically were like, “holy shit, that’s a lot of RBIs”.

TIL: I never knew the insides of ATMs were so soundproof.

“It’s hard to throw a pitch 62 miles per hour.”

Sometimes you just want to get stoned.

That’s a negative there. I’m lucky to have seen any championships in my lifetime, 2008 feels like a far off dream at this point.

I’ve been drinking heavily tonight. I apologize for my lack of giving a shit. #Phillyyyyyy

The truth hurts sometimes.

Also, softest player/worst beard to ever win the NHL Finals MVP? Discuss.

As a Philadelphia sports fan:

Topical.

I believe you have the hyphen in the wrong spot.

Did anybody else feel awkward by the fact that these ragequits went on about 30 seconds longer than they had to be?

Bam.

The hyphen game is strong with this one.