Drink some toilet water and be a man.

My first beer was a Rolling Rock few weeks shy of my 21st (excluding a Smirnoff I had when I was in my late late teens), and now look at the disgrace I’ve become to my parents.

Related.

Our memories are like goldfish.

Yes, but until the Eagles win one, everything else is moot. And this is coming from a die-hard Phillies fan.

“Fuck you.”

Usually I have an image in my head of people of what they look like before doing idiot acts before actually seeing the acts, and then they look completely different.

Boom Shakalaka.

Yes, but you’d need a nitrogen tank instead of co2.

Yes, but you’d need a nitrogen tank instead of co2.

My mandatory keezer post.

My mandatory keezer post.

I would potentially send you death threats over that MLB tweet.

Still the best fan of all time.

But who’s to blame?

I know, it’s all in jest. I’m a Phillies phan myself. Last year was the first time I haven’t gone to a game in probably 10 years, but this year I’m chomping at the bit to get down.

When the PHILLIES have a better record than you, there’s something wrong.

Job’s Tears and Tubers sound oh so appealing.

I brew beer on the reg, and nerd out on beer pretty hard; it is quite a fascinating topic to read into if you want to know about the history of beer.

Flying is cheap if you can afford it.

What a fuckin’ buzzkill.

Considered I paid 130 a night for a queen ensuite when I was in NYC last time, sure!