The last time I swagged with my P a little too hard, the guy next to me was none too pleased.

They probably made that years ago, and were just waiting for a moment like this to unleash it. It was definitely helpful.

Sad to see all that talent wasted on the Jets.

I'll help you out with that one.

No.

They're bearly even smiling.

.... Yeah that didn't clear up anything for me.

If this isn't a case study for the long-term effects of repeated blunt force trauma to the head, I don't know what is.

Ray Ratto is such a curmodgeony fellow, I love him.

I am spelling seereslee like this from now on.

I'm more going along the lines of why would any ballclub sign a deal like that? I'm happy he got paid, but jeez.

What the hell has been with duper-long contracts in the MLB the past few years? Especially for 30+ year old players.

You get on your hands and knees, Drew Magary, and find that gatdam third sheet. It's for the betterment of Deadspin, and you will be lauded for your contributions.

Aw man, trumped...

But Own Goal of the year? .... Perhaps.

Is it weird that every Garrett I've known has been nicknamed, "G-Money"?

I have none, just making an observation.

ESPECIALLY if you go with your daughter.

I don't know if the goth-to-hippie transition could be as easily performed, as a certain level of hatred must be retained.

"A new radio."