It's almost unsettling how much I love her.

This is frighteningly accurate.

Daiquiris

Yeah, I remember when she went to jail (I don't even remember what for, drugs?) and called it a youthful indiscretion. She was in her 30s. :-/

I suspect that she is a really messed up person with some serious personality disorders. Has anyone noticed that whenever she becomes "friends" with people (in public at least) they tend to crash and burn pretty quick: Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Mishca Barton, Brook Muller....

ME TOO! I thought the dinosaurs would be talking to each other and having adventures and falling in love.... basically the plot of Twilight but filled with dinosaurs. :-/

A Don Draper is while... mid-thrust... you break out into a coughing/wheezing fit on top of your partner.

Oh for fucks sake!

Well, this is existentially depressing.

At this point I'm starting to wonder if his act is just some weird performance art commentary on celebrity.

http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Tabitha

So I'm thinking, either he's trying to pick me up, or he wants to steal my cake. Neither of these are OK.

I got cool short bangs and ended up looking like a mutant troll (like the girl mutants in Fallout: New Vegas... for any Jezzie gamers).

Only one thing can help you: PRAYER!

Can you imagine how insufferable that guy who wrote Catcher in the Rye would have been if he weren't a total recluse?

I feel so bad for this woman... egg on my face if she did it (but I really don't think she did it).

Why is it always white dudes who buy wives on the internet? WTF?

If he's Mormon maybe the Utah options would be different. But if this guy was Mormon there is no way he would marry someone outside of his faith.

yup. Ukrainian women are tough as nails (also Polish women..). Pretty much the exact opposite of whatever this weird buy-your-wife-fetishism claims. Decidedly NOT deferential to a spouse.

He... returned her?