I have a friend who hates Alan Alda so much that she worked it into her wedding speech. No joke. I can never figure out what he did to inspire this amount of hate and find it hilarious.

I never see the good stuff on Twitter. That was just amazing.

One of my friend's has a boss who truly believes vaccines gave his kid autism. The guy is nice, he's a great father, but he is wrong. I'm sorry your kid has autism and you want something to blame but it wasn't the fucking vaccines.

Couldn't agree more. My father was paying about 25% of what he should have been paying and he quit the second I turned 18—while I was still firmly in high school. It was bullshit.

Yep, same here. I wonder if anyone got the mansion that didn't get it as a guilt-gift? It had ceiling fans and a diving board for the pool!!! I barely remember my parents married and I was perfectly happy with double holidays instead of screaming fights.

I've truly never dealt with worse drivers than in DC. And when I see the plates that say "Diplomat"? I get the fuck out of the way. I've seen 24 point turns in the middle of busy roads, I've seen people reverse 3 blocks for a parking space, I've been "nudged" by cars more times than I can count, I could go on and…

It's oddly comforting to hear that divorces, large and small, are pretty much the same. My dad's version of this was 100s of My Little Ponies that my mom wouldn't buy me. INCLUDING THE MANSION.

I wish Laura was one of my best friends too. She seems awesome.

She was hilarious! I also love that she forced JLaw to take her to the Oscars—because that would so be me too.

You obviously don't get the texts from Starbucks. It seems impossible that someone high isn't sending them out—they are all gifs, sparkly, and half involve kittens. I love them.

That beef sundae is delicious. Then again, I've eaten many fair-time abominations.

That's amazing!

I have a friend who used to be a pro-domme. She had a shit ton of specialized skills, otherwise she would have been hospitalizing men left and right.

I've only had a textured manicure once. It bothered me so much and I couldn't quit touching my nails!! Never again. I love glossy nails.

Hmmm...that point went right over your head, didn't it?

Good. It's my main goal in life to remain adorable! Glad I'm reaching my goal!

I do, too, but it's the most random name I could think of :)

It's adorable you think that. I have had male friends mansplain about "not all men" more times than you can count, especially when I've been telling stories about my ass being grabbed in bars or my college stalker. OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL FUCKING MEN. NOT EVEN THE MAJORITY OF MEN.

Yeah, I believe the story. There are way, way too many similar stories in the comments. He focuses on odd things that women don't focus on. And the MRAs I know in real life go on and on about women being "nice" and "sweet".

Also, I'm not saying there aren't guys out there who are into big girls, but I doubt this girl is even that big. And he even points out that she's sweet and nice and a lot of fun. I hope she leaves her ass for someone who finds her sweet, nice, fun, and beautiful.