I have a friend who has a similar snake in the toilet story. Since I've heard it, I have never been able to use the bathroom in the dark again. Just that picture gives me goosebumps....

I stayed in a hotel once that appeared to have bloodstains all over the door—like splatter stains. It looked like they tried to remove it but couldn't quite get there. I was tired, there wasn't another hotel for like 100 miles, so I shoved a chair under the door and slept in my clothes, shoes on, hood up, on top of…

I don't think that's attempted robbery, but I do think it's felony level jackassery.

But, your chances of having an indigo child drastically increase! And who doesn't want their own personal Professor X?

I went to Dollywood as a sarcastic, gothy, hate-everything teenager and still loved it. The whole area is so delightfully tacky and awesome.

No, but only if they cause a story I can tell my friends. :)

I just read the post—so infuriating. Clare and her friends did everything right and they didn't even get a refund! She and her date looked fantastic and I'm extremely sorry their night was ruined.

It is SO CREEPY. Grown men should not be thinking sexual thoughts about classmates of their children.

I had a woman literally walk into a wall while looking at my breasts in the locker room. I didn't get a "talking to". That asinine. Focus on your own fucking workout, you know?

I could easily have gone all four years—I just didn't think they were that fun. You don't have to be an upperclassman in most schools, just invited by one.

I adore Dolly and I think these private tattoos make me like her even more.

Yeah, I'm not sure being a mistress is a great long-term plan.

To you. I'd rather be dead than tortured and raped for years with no end in sight.

So...if I drove a penis into your precious anus against your will, that would be fine, because at least it isn't murder? Cute.

I went through stage 4 cancer with a close friend. One of the things he's most upset about to this day is that his hair never came back. You don't get to decide what bothers other people if you've never gone through it. It's a daily reminder of that terrible time and that scares the shit out of me.

I feel the same way. And I don't even like cats.

1. Laura Prepon looks fantastic.

It seems like parents need to make this point constantly to their kids from an inappropriately young age. THINGS ON THE INTERNET DON'T GO AWAY. Soon, we will have naked pictures of everyone running for office and I, for one, do not look forward to that day.

HOW BAD MUST BRAND SMELL THAT COURTNEY FREAKING LOVE TURNS HIM DOWN ON THAT BASIS? Wow.

Whereas I just want to corner him like an obsessed stalker. I swear I'm the only person other than his mom that bought his comedy album in like 2001. He's absolutely hilarious.