Your response alone is justification enough for this joke. It appears to have landed precisely on target.

Being able to afford to buy a brand new car with cash.

Wait. People charge their phone while listening to music from their phone? I can’t say as I’ve ever done that.

Battle armoured polar bear berserkers or we riot.

Not sure about the rest of the “super-rich,” but with Trump I suspect the issue is that his hands aren’t actually large enough to, you know, hold things in them.

Here’s a $100 grand beetle 1965 Porsche 911 w/106k miles in project condition, no engine!, bondo and missmatched parts for $109,950 

Not for the door, dipshit, for the column lock.

Not excusing the University but what idiot thinks 30 grams of anhydrous caffeine won’t fuck you up? That’s like a dime bag full. Honestly, put 30 grams of powdered sugar or cornstarch on a digital kitchen scale and you can get a sense of how much caffeine that is. Don’t bother, I have. (Yes, I tared the penny)

Has anyone else ODed on caffeine? I did a few years ago, it is a deeply, deeply unpleasant experience second only to ODing on Benadryl around the same time dealing with a sleep disorder.

No it’s MOOSEN! If not explain oxen.

My dad commuted almost every day of my parents’ 46 years together. He’s still waiting for parole.

Stealing Power, Staff, Cameras, Coming and Going?

Amateur. This guy is the genius. He built an apartment in a shopping mall garage and lived in it rent free for four years.

You can live even cheaper in a tent under a bridge as long as we are talking about blatantly illegal living situations.

Can confirm that these are ready and on the road. Challenger/Charger/300 plant is on my way to work and they test drive through the area every day. So I usually see at least 10ish cars on my way into work.

Shit Posing As Meat

Presumably he was warming up the interior and frost-covered windows, not the engine.

Me driving the car while it’s below freezing inside is one thing. Forcing my two kids age 4 and 1.5 to sit in the car while it’s below freezing inside when I have time to warm it up first is another thing.

But can the police issue tickets on private property?

3 hours, though I get like 4.

3 hours, though I get like 4.