Did you also know that this segment was brought to you by 1-800-FLOWERS? They'll be talking to Herm Edwards on the AT&T Expert Hotline, sponsored by Pajamagrams.

Well NOW I believe the rumor about Peyton's fuckpad and countless mistresses.

Somehow, I'm working "like showing your neck to Dracula" into a conversation that I have today. It will be magisterial.

You do know that Tom Ley, just posted the picture of the tweet?

As a lady who has grabbed a fair amount of dick in her life, I can say with 95.5% certainty that she fo' sho is giving him the ol' produce treatment.

Because teenagers. Hugging your mother is sooo lame.

When I came out, my mom told me:

Look at the guy's hair. Of course he has a sidepiece.

What's the difference between Adrian Peterson and an elevator?

Steve Smith is everything we want the modern NFL player to be: a family man, hard-worker, overachiever, and smart enough to write his thoughts down because he knows he won't remember them in 15 years.

You know who DID break their wives' bones and beat their children with a shoe? The people who WON WORLD WAR II!!!!!

"Every kid I know whose dad didn't break their mom's bones in arguments has grown up to be an entitled, pussified drug addict! Not being allowed to break your wife's bones and throw things at your baby is making America weak!"

does someone need to say it or is it a personal problem that that's all you see?

Well backs (running, defensive, etc.) have a lot of pent up aggression due to the physical nature of their upbringing on the football field.

Fuck that; on my third gasket this week alone.

I haven't seen so many suspenders on a weekly basis since "Family Matters".

A nice wrinkle on the Pro Bowl would be the All-Exempt Team against the All-Active team.

AWWW YISSS!

Uh, except that part where he has fully admitted that he did it.

Presumed innocence is a legal concept, not a marketing one.