That name suggests Balotelli doesn't plan on staying for long.

"After he cudgels the spheroid into the pitch, he might traverse several base platings and get into the red zone, awaiting a teammate to offer him safe entry to the final embassy."

I think he was just scared that finger gun was real

Unfortunately, despite numerous sightings across the Las Vegas metro area, younger brother and notorious maimed highwayman Slot Machine remains at large.

So Joan Rivers is out of her coma, now?

Bah. I know. I gave him my star. What more does Pie Snatcher need?

The thing about texting is that sometimes you'll have a back and forth text conversation that takes half an hour when a 1 minute phone call would have accomplished the same thing. Actual phone calls are now way underrated.

"I have stated on numerous occasions that owners, management personnel and coaches must be held to a higher standard than players. We discussed this during our meeting and you expressed your support for that view, volunteering that owners should be held to the highest standard."

Which I like to imagine looks something like this:

Look, in all honesty, this is a stupid story.

Nice athleticism by the bro in the red shoes!!! Call him Superman, leaping tall hoes in a single bound

Chief Broseph and Sitting Full

the casting call for "F Troop, The Next Generation" ran long.

I'd seen this video before, but the voiceover just made me laugh so hard I choked. Because this is how I feel about my own printer...."just take the fucking paper!"

It's okay, they usually don't cover it until 6th grade.

"Luhnow has done to the Houston Astros what Mitt Romney used to do to steel companies while at Bain Capital: stripped them down with ruthless efficiency to build them back up again, stronger and better than before.""

At Denver, vs Green Bay, at Oakland, and at New England. That's 3 ass whoopins wrapped around a late afternoon, season-garbage-time game that pits us against the Raiders in a scrimmage of the 5-9's. We'll beat them in some weird, sloppy game by a score of 16-5 or something. The only highlight from the game will be…

He's actually setting up a blocking position for an ambush that's about to take place on Elizabeth and Booker right after this scene.

I think it's still o.k. to hate Bon Jovi, though.