Congratulations on your shiny new doctorate!

How much do I love you for referencing one of my favorite books of all time? A lot, that’s how much.

That’s a biggie. When my then-fiance was waffling about kids, I told him that he was the love of my life, but that if he didn’t want kids, we shouldn’t get married. It turned out he didn’t want kids right away, but since I was only 27, that was no big deal. Four years later, we had out first kid, by which point he was…

I post a wedding picture once a year on my anniversary. Is that OK? Or am I unkowingly annoying the crap out of everyone?

I’m with you. What’s worse, my mother had NO SENSE when it came to taking me to movies. She took me to see Coma. COMA. I was 9, and the scene where the janitor gets electrocuted gave me nightmares for months. Thanks, mom.

I was easily terrified as a kid. I remember having nightmares for weeks about a commercial for a particular horror movie. And this was in the 70s, when TV ads weren’t that graphic. This would not have ended well for me.

The suspects could be anywhere in time or space by now.

I’ve gotten the “friendship” version of that. “I don’t usually like Jews, but you’re different.” Um, what?

When I get my Hogwarts letter, I will devote my life to developing such a spell.

What...but...I mean.... I got nothin’.

Right?

It really is a lovely hat.

At least he was considerate enough to fly that douche flag early, so you wouldn’t waste your time on him.

Agreed. I said no to that, and my husband was on board. The only version of it I ever didn’t hate was when a friend of mine and her husband dabbed a bit of frosting on each other’s noses. It was cute and playful, and not at all hostile.

Zooming in on her face at the end was just gross. Very exploitive.

I didn’t know this was still a thing. I got married almost 20 years ago, and we didn’t do the garter thing.

Literally the only way this could have been worse is if he’s thrown up on her. What an asshole. That poor bride.

The only reason I keep it all straight is because I minored in Asian Studies in college. :-)

She is. I’ve had the biggest crush on her ever since Mask.

How in love with Laura Dern was I when I first saw that movie? Very. Very in love.