Maybe she had plans to go to Cannes later?

I’m very sorry if people took offense.

The New Orleans song from “Streetcar Named Marge” is pretty awesome, but I can’t recall the name.

Seriously. Keep her far, far away from Maggie and Lisa.

And his toenails are too long and yellow.

“You sure have a lot of bowling trophies.”

I’m so glad mine isn’t the only marriage held firmly together by early-season Simpson quotes. “There, there, shut up, Honey”; “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand!”; and “Aww, but that was just an idle promise!” come up a lot. It’s possible I need to reexamine my marriage. brb.

In a few more hours, he’ll be dead!

My personal bete noir is shitty celebrity children’s books. Who the FUCK told Jay Leno to write a children’s book? Whoever it was should be tied to a bookshelf and pelted with manual typewriters.

Possibly with a machete.

Fair enough. But actual missing fries are worth complaining about, unlike, say, missing pickles.

We actually just got free onion rings tonight for being nice, high-tipping customers at our favorite local delivery spot. I’ve only ever called any place when something relatively major was missing (one of our entrees, or $5 worth of sodas that they’d charged us for, for example).

#notalllynchings

Sounds intriguing. Sadly, I stock none of those ingredients.

I have two kids, and never, not even once, have I have even considered changing a diaper at the table. If there was no changing table or big counter in the bathroom, one of us would take the baby out to the car and change her/him on the seat. Just a great big fucking NO to the entitled asshole parents on your FB feed.…

The one in Boston is great; the one near me in NY apparently sucks.

I was born in the 60’s; you’re not alone.

Recipe, please?

Don’t get all emotional? Really? Fuck you. This guy grabbed her breast, and then, when she pushed him away, he decided to punish/humiliate her by reaching through her legs from behind and grabbing her vulva. And then he charges her, with God knows what in mind, before she drops him. Watch the goddam video. This guy is…

I misread that as “bum”. I am very much relieved that was actually “bun”.