Investigative journalism is alive and well. Thank you for asking the tough questions, David. 

Cool, thanks for this incisive thoughtful commentary. I’m sure this will become a pivotal turning point in both our lives

The mental gymnastics that must be required in order to make that statement to a reporter are staggering to contemplate. Did he really think that anyone would think “a doctor told me a spanking from her boss would help her anxiety” actually fucking happened?!

I do. Not dramatically, but I do a quiet fade. My life is pretty uncomplicated now. Worth it.

You mean "THANK YOU, Mark, I GOT to pop a Lortab, which made the video pretty fun to watch?"

I'm so glad that the baby was alright and that she grew into such an amazing and confident young woman. This is a good chance to plug Safe Haven laws, which decriminalized leaving newborns in specific places, such as hospitals and fire stations. More information here: http://safehaven.tv/states/

I just gotta believe that Colbert is happy to be retiring the Colbert character. Too many people cannot separate the two and I am sure he wants to be himself for a while.

Every part of this is completely ridiculous. This makes me want to live on a deserted island with no contact with humanity for the rest of my days.

Squats.

However, he was taking multiple drugs, including Ambien, for his mental troubles and yet he was still able to purchase a $579 gun from a Guns Galore store in Killeen, Texas.

judges should not have facebook pages at all. You make come sacrifices to have power.

Appearance and reality can be two very different things.

Yes, I am. In my hypothetical example above, the judge is not ACTUALLY friends with Casey Anthony, He didn't even know he was friends with her on Facebook. We're talking about appearances of impropriety and erring on the side of caution.

Again, it's all about appearances. If being friends in real life means going out for dinner and drinks during a trial, then yes, obviously they should ditch the friends in real life too. If we're talking about being pleasant with someone you see on a daily basis, then they should ditch them on social media, as a…

He suggests a wife schedule her C-section around her husband's sporting event.

Thank you for your comment! This is where I bust out the "P" word and politely remind us all to check our health and medical services privilege at the door. I think there's a worthwhile conversation to be had here about teachers who push boundaries in regards to emergency situations—I get that a lot of people don't…

"If seat belts protected against injuries in collisions then cars wouldn't also have air bags. " I assume you can see how asinine of a statement that is, just like your statement. You do both things to increase the odds against germ transmission; it's called redundancy.

So you're assuming they wash their hands as frequently as they should in the middle of an evening rush. Good luck with that.

Yeah, I felt weird announcing it anywhere because sometimes I don't know how much of myself I should give to the internet. But I did put up a kind of oblique post about it on my tumblr and then, IDK, I'm just really excited and happy and I feel pretty comfortable with my little afternoon Dirt Bag crowd, so, yeah.…