It will slither down the hills and around the trees and smother you, filling your mouth and anus with impenetrable blackness, colonizing your body like some kind of alien cancer.

Winds: 57 knots, blowing south by southeast by northeast by west by south-southwest

[dumb]

+1 Burning trashcan. Genius.

If she's a Seahawks' fan, why did she get a tattoo of a bald eagle?

+1 Crayon

Ouch. +1

I'm glad that an investigation has been opened. It's a real shame that it took national attention from a sports news broadcast to make it happen. Hopefully, for the young lady's family, some closure will be found.

No, but Davone Bess could.

Maybe this one:

What a total douchebag. This guy's Hubertus is appalling.

Oh, when you said we were going to the streep club, I thought we were going to see a bunch of boobs on the hard wood. Instead, we're seeing a bunch of boobs on the hardwood.

I do that from time to time, but it's not quite the same. Also, my big problem with SA sports is the lack of good beer.

All the "chess match" rhetoric aside, I love nothing more than watching a lazy, midsummer baseball game. There's something satisfying about doing jack, trying to stay cool, drinking beer, and enjoying a great pitchers' duel. It's the one thing I miss most living in San Antonio, TX. I try to make it to an MLB city at…

All the "chess match" rhetoric aside, I love nothing more than watching a lazy, midsummer baseball game. There's something satisfying about doing jack, trying to stay cool, drinking beer, and enjoying a great pitchers' duel. It's the one thing I miss most living in San Antonio, TX. I try to make it to an MLB city at…

I dunno. I think he might have some skills. He sure lured me to sleep with that crossover.

I dunno. I think he might have some skills. He sure lured *me* to sleep with that crossover.

Several neat scotches later, Daryl then tweeted, "You can put him on the floor; yes!"

As a Constitution-loving American, I'm glad to see no one is standing in this hunter's way to bear arms.

You missed the "-Said No One at Mizzou Ever" byline.