I forgot to bring my license to the airport but thank God I remembered my diploma!

I'm a casual runner. I'm not in training for anything and I enjoy the occasional 5K. Typically when I run less than 4 miles, I will run with my Golden Retriever. He loves coming with me and he is very motivating. Sometimes he pulls me (metaphorically, usually) and other times I have to coax him to keep up. The few…

Go Lumbergh or go home is what I always say...

This seems like a lot of work. I'm just going to go ahead with being a jerk.

As someone who performs hundreds of mystery shops per year (and is actually pretty damn good at it), you're 100% right. Any retard can sign up and think they're going to get rich quick. Guidelines are pretty friggen strict nowadays and it's way easier to have a report rejected than it is to have it accepted.

I just brush my teeth in the shower and open my mouth for water. No paper, no non-paper. Efficiency!

Yet another worthless solution in search of a problem that nobody has.

Why?

My sister-in-law had a jar of candy corn on her coffee table a few years back. I was chewing on, and nearly swallowed, two pieces before someone told me they were fake and for decoration.

"and the list of ideas also includes, like, the atomic bomb and Mission to Mars"

Well that was worthless.

"dry yourself off quickly (with your own towel, don't borrow one from someone else)"

That is Ferris Bueler level genius.

everything i already have works fine. Give me an automated laundry folder and putter-awayer and now you're talking

I think the real question here is - why are package handlers such assholes? Do your fuckin' job right. Don't be an asshole.

"Commuting to college is just as good as living there."

Ya, it's barely dark. It seems like it only affects like 2% of the screen.

what they probably mean is they're not willing to support it until Monday.

No it doesn't. Just SMS handoff. Everything else works.

Thanks for letting us know. We were going to check with you earlier but your phone kept going straight to voicemail.