"Pussified," says the grown man wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

If it was a tramp stamp it could have been an inspirational message for anyone with chronic constipation.

A thing isn't truly "discovered" until a white person has written a trend piece about it in The New Yorker. That's just a fact. -_-

The terrorists hate our panties.

I work at a greenhouse. "I'm looking for a plant. It has a flower?"

And "Wagner." And "manga."

I try a different pronunciation of gyro at every Greek restaurant I visit. No one has ever given me a solid tip. These days I generally go for "GEE-roh." G as in gastrulation.

I think it's one of those strangled French "rrrglug" noises at the end. "SHEV-rrgluh." (Source: two years of high school French during the period just before lunch, so all I could focus on was the pictures of croissants and jam in the textbook.)

I knew Xena. Xena was a friend of mine. Girl, you're no Xena.

She and Bowie would have made beautiful babies.

I think we should take it even further! Let's screen for these people at polling stations, snatch the ballots out of their hands, and cluck, "Sorry... you don't NEED feminism." disapprovingly.

Back in my day we called that a "patriarchal bargain," I do believe.

But then Honduras would be full of internet trolls. Is that better or worse than killer drug gangs?

And then wasn't there something about "suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me"? But I'm a filthy Muslim terrorist, apparently, so what do I know.

I bet he thinks "negging" is a really killer tactic, too.

It's Ramadan. Poor woman probably hasn't had a proper cup of coffee for the past 20 days.

I just watched the trailer! I'm already a big fan of both, so I'll probably have to watch that one a few hundred times.

I harvested it by climbing a mountain while wearing only fair trade linen Thai yoga pants, and used Himalayan salt to extract pure moisture from the fresh mountain air, totally free of negative vibes. And I heated it using hot air I produced myself.

I only eat organic steam. And I consume it through my pores, so I don't disrupt the natural flora in my mouth.

I always thought Jack Black was quite handsome, but then, I like men who can sing, and rock a beard without looking like a hipster.