Maybe it's related to driving on the wrong side of the road?

Word up, man. I used to read The Stand every summer, and then daydream about how nice it would be if everyone just up and disappeared. (I was a weird kid, okay?)

I agree, but in practice they tend to spend a year in Japan, then spend the next twelve years doing the talk show circuit and writing memoirs.

This is like how every couple years a new white woman becomes "THE FIRST WESTERN GEISHA!!!1!!OMG!!" and I roll my eyes right out of my head.

I would all kinds of wear this. And then I would smite my enemies like a Vishnu.

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!?

Sorry, dude. Thom Browne just bombed my fashion palette, and now I can't taste anything that isn't Crazy Cake.

The eerie spectacle-eyes coming at you from the darkness... CAN THAT BE A THING, FASHION PEOPLE? PLEASEPLEASE? I want to see this at the end of EVERY RUNWAY.

I find Mr. Rodriguez's designs very boxy and unappealing, but I will CUT A BITCH to get some of his "For Her" perfume.

OMG, me too! And then I would stand next to attractive, sensitive-looking men, in the hopes that their sexy anguish needed something fluffy to pet.

Muslim bro fist, dude. I feel you on that one.

I'm seeing a few people in the comments express concern that Christians are making it "all about them." But you might be surprised to hear that you can be gay AND Christian. (For example, an old family friend who is a happily married, out and proud gay man, who is also a devout Franciscan.)

And then twerk in your cavernous mansions.

I think these guys sound really nice. Don't we dislike frats because they tend to be drunken, rapey pits of racism? Doesn't it sound cool to have one that's into, like, women's rights and praying?

I wouldn't either. Too Muslim, you see. But I would never judge someone who wants to have sex for the fun of it, with someone they don't plan on having a relationship with. I am Anti-Slut Shaming.

We'd be hella pissed if he was all, "Women's brains mean nothing to me. I don't take intelligence into account the tiniest bit when selecting a life mate! YOLO!"

But we would totally do that, too! Don't tell me NOBODY on Jezebel has ever had a bunch of fun sex with someone a little dim and then gone, "Eh. That was cool. See you around, I guess."

John Legend is totally right, though. I mean, I wouldn't date an idiot. Surely YOU wouldn't want to, either. So that seems fair to me.

Nobody much minds their own sex gunk or boogers or blood (in small quantities), or that of their nearest and dearest. But once a bodily fluid has cooled to room temperature, it is officially EW.

I really wanted to be a spaceman, and I wrote a letter, and now I'm head of NASA!