Bravo! I've been living in Philly for 20 years, and I was always unimpressed with the creativity of Phillies' fans — who tended to just be vulgar. But this is fantastic.

+1 round of nightmares

I'm sorry, but your headline really oversold it. This is approximately the level terror this inspired:

I can tell you from experience that a sack full of cats is not really all that cute. There's some kind of inverse square law on cuteness per cat when you ramp up the cat per cubic inch.

HULK AM MODEST!!!

I actually can't beleive some people wake up in the morning, put their shoes and their coat on and go protest outside abortion clinics everyday.

She better not try riding a bike in Germany.

It might be cheesy but I love it too!

Jalopnik kicked in yo!

Yes, everyone go buy a Honda Civic SI. It eats Porsches for breakfast.

"it is very, very quick"..."Zero to 60 mph comes in the low-to-mid four second range."

Never understood the 'homosexuality is not natural' argument. We should be a-ok with all the other unnatural things we do, but there is were we draw the line? Why? Especially since doing that does nothing but make life more miserable for our fellow human beings?

Not only oral sex - homosexual oral sex! Another strike against the "Homosexuality is unnatural" crowd! Yeah.

"That beautiful thing you're seeing? You're not really seeing it. Your brain is just being fooled into thinking you're seeing it.

Dear Sir,

I have to be up early for work in the morning and I am supposed to go to bed in...15 minutes ago. This is fucked up. I'm free tomorrow night. Re-schedule it for tomorrow night.

You just wonderfully embodied every single annoying, condescending, obnoxious thing about Manhattan. Thanks! I'd ask you what it was like growing up in The City and drinking the cool way—bright lights! loft parties! maturity!—but I'm going to ban you, so don't bother. Feel free to email me though, because another 6000…

BRO, DO YOU RELALY DRNK THAT MUCH????