At least he knows how Cobb County taxpayers feel.

I didn’t think it was possible for the pitching to get any worse than it was earlier this year. WRONG

Your special teams coach probably should be fired if he ever decides to put a kick returner in the end zone when defending against a long field goal with a lead at the end of regulation.

It's Minnesota. The passive/aggressive approach is the only approach we know.

Is this where y’all are gonna hang out now? I like it.

Eh, the Raimi movies are probably just a “boot.”

R.I.P., Samer’s dick.

[stares outside; sees sun shining] [checks temperature; sees it isn’t baking] Eh, I might as well go do it now. Sorry, Deadspin staff, hope you get some better questions than this one.

Should I mow the lawn today, or put it off because what are the neighbors going to do, call the police on me?

This was my introduction to giving up and asking friends for help.

Man, that penalty kick wasn’t even Klose.

You mean I just got the WHOOOOOSHHH treatment?! Aw, FML.

... Because he’s one of the best pitchers in baseball?

This isn’t even the home run of the year, Tom. If you think this guy was put to shame, how do you think James Shields feels?

+1

Actually, he landed on his feet and kept running, that was a pretty good descent I thought.

Eh, I’d rather watch this kid than Bayless and Stephen A., so I guess that’s something.

+1

“Tell me more about all this shit that’s being eaten, and where a fellow can get some shit to eat himself?” — Scarabaeus viettei

+1 Chid classic