“My crowd was bigger than Obama’s in ‘09 if you take out the people who were at his inauguration illegally.” - Donald Trump

Dear Jorge,

oh, but ask them about their kids and they won’t shut the fuck up about him picking the apples for his own applesauce at his Montessori school.

Of course not. Bills fans mount their TV from behind.

Potentially more depending on the states you’re each in.

How is he going to watch Yankees games now?!

I hate when these people start rioting and destroying their own neighborhoods...

The worst part happened when he discovered that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t actually inside the TV.

I mean to be totally honest, you might want to wait for him to ruin the economy- if you have savings, you will probably be able to pick up a bargain after the next crash (if our currency isn’t horribly debased in the meantime, which it may well be).

Millenniums don’t even have to pay their dues before getting massive payouts and that’s why they are soft. Bill Belichik had to work for THIRTY YEARS in the rock smashing factory before anyone even allowed him into the room where you can look at a football. The only thing these Millenniums are DISRUPTING is hard work.…

I was starting to feel old because I’m older than the majority of NFL players. I am not prepared to be older than the coaches.

alternate headline:

In OBJ’s defense, the grounds crew member kept telling him that he’s “not just a member of the grounds crew, he’s also a part owner of the team”.

From the shoehorned “fancy party” mention to the name misspell (for humor?) to the #woke “male gaze” phrase drop that implies you do understand the concept on some level to the dismissive “or w/e she was upset about” that follows it, I have zero clue what to make of this comment.

This is the kind of pedantry I can get behind.

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

We should probably blame white women. Not even being sarcastic.

Yes it is Jill Stein and her voters’ fault and not ALL YOUR RACIST, SCARED NEIGHBORS VOTING FOR DONALD

Why didn’t the Lions use one of their challenges on a 4 yard reception that brought up 2nd and 6 a minute into the game? Is this a serious question? Are you really that baffled by this?