Cool - but TS/SCI clearances for senior White House staff are typically expedited because they’re not defense contractor employees who need secret clearances.

The process does take quite awhile for most people. But we’re talking about people at the highest levels of the executive branch, not some low level staffer at DHS. As an avalanche of former White House staffers have reported, the clearance process is expedited for senior staff.  

If you’re trolling...tip of the hat to you, though this seems to be a weird way of trolling. If not, might I recommend a tasty selection of Tide Pods for your culinary enjoyment?

Yep. Dozens of people have tried to point out how and why they understood this to be a humorous piece, but you — and only you — have the insight to understand that a Deadspin writer is unfamiliar with Russell Wilson.

Are you sure? Your inability to pick up on humor in written articles suggests otherwise.

Do you watch late night comedy monologues about current events and get pissed about the jokes because you thought that Colbert, Seth Meyers, John Oliver, etc., were supposed to be as serious as 60 Minutes?

That’s LITERALLY the joke. How is this confusing to you?

I was really hoping that your initial comment was a weird attempt at trolling. As I read through the rest of the comments, it sadly became clear that you’re just an idiot. The whole joke based on the premise that of course everyone here — the writer, the readers, everyone — knows who Russell Wilson is, which team he…

“ [T]he widely reported total of three arrests in Philadelphia shows Sunday night was not so bad at all.”

That really hits the nail on the head. Eagles fans generally annoy me, but it gets cranked up to another level when they pull the “that was just a few bad apples several decades ago” card. I’m on one discussion thread where an Eagle fan was arguing that on Friday, and today his response to the rioting articles was “I…

That Super Bowl Was Everything Anyone Could Have Asked For...unless you’re a fan of the Cowboys, Giants, or Washington Football Club.

All the stars to you.

From a Giants fan, thank you for this. It’s been a rough 14 hours. I needed to see Philly living down to the expectations I’ve always had for them.

Totally not surprised. I don’t know why or how so many other NFC East fans I know could have weighed the two bad options in this game and settled on Philly as the least worst.

Hit in the chest first? Are we watching the same video?

Last blast of winter? It’s February 2. Let’s not tempt fate. If you’re north of the Mason-Dixon, you can get a decent blizzard well into March.

Last blast of winter? It’s February 2. Let’s not tempt fate. If you’re north of the Mason-Dixon, you can get a…

Can someone explain how to put one of those progress bar cells into an Excel and/or Google Sheet spreadsheet?

You could probably improve at least two of those factors you’ve identified — one income and a car payment — depending on how much you want to hustle and be frugal. There are probably other places you could trim fat if you put your mind to it, too.

I can’t stand Schumer, but Mo’Nique’s movie comparison is flawed. I haven’t seen either, but Schumer was the lead in Snatched (and the 18-35 bracket, probably Netflix’s biggest concern, probably wasn’t drawn in by Goldie Hawn), while Mo’Nique appears to have been a minor supporting actress in Almost Christmas (judging…

Ah, gotcha. I think I’ve only ever seen gate-checked bags tagged with a color tag that doesn’t include any passenger/destination information.