I hate to say it, but she's white, isn't she?

Easy access to dick and... no, easy access to dick. That's basically it. Everything else we can either do ourselves or have technology do for us.

Wearing my steel toes boots and my god am I itching to kick him in the balls.

I had a long shower before touching either of them.

This is better if you imagine the guy from My Cat from Hell watching her video, grabbing his guitar case and getting half way down his drive before he realises he has no idea where she lives.

the conservative Catholic belief has been that animals don't get to go to Heaven because they apparently don't have souls.

I'm imaginging that they're not divorced because once she got her man and grew comfortable she no longer felt the need to buy Taco Bell every day, but Joe had married her specifially because of this. They tried for a while, sometimes he even bought, but the magic was gone and a Bell shaped void hung between them.

I'm sorry, but if you're creating anything there is just no way to avoid crap other than by working at it until you either flush it or turn it into gold.

I like vulva. It sounds like a tropical plant with massive petals. But I'm not entirely sure it'd work for sex.

That just gave me some serious flashbacks to a Donald Duck cartoon I used to watch when I was younger.

My cunt is personally styled Madame Guillotine.

The band were booed off stage after 15 minutes and just three songs at Nottingham's Rock City during their recent Dot to Dot festival appearance.

Crack for the cr... no, no, you're right. One must remain discrete.

Personally, i'd advise to anyone wanting to try this stuff is to stay away, it's like crack you can spread on croissants.

In fairness, I do think that if his kids had access to his body, he would have been buried by now.

The Casey Kasem situation is so totally heartbreaking.

I'd be so tempted to reply "oh, so recently..?"

Considering the fact that people accused of rape have no anonymity, I have no problem with fake allegations getting jail time. I do have a problem with people assuming that a rape accusation that doesn't end with a charge/conviction is false though.

Jez describe it as "harrowing" but the cover and that top pic make it look like this woman should be my new hero and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Could be. But even if it works, it takes extra work and upkeep.