What exactly did the turkey do? I'm having a hard time imagining its crimes.

I'm so happy I don't have external genitalia. (Well, the kind you have to worry about getting caught in chairs.)

they say never underestimate stupidity, but damn, right...

Cultureal appropriation is our culture.

I've literally (literally literally, not figuratively literally) just seen someone on fb say it's called Black Friday because it's when Slave Owners would trade slaves to get ready for Christmas.

It's the circle of wax life.

For a moment there I thought you meant Bourbon biscuits and nearly ran to the kitchen to make sure my stash was secure.

Michael Lohan Is Now Married, What's Your Excuse?

It's what they deserve for being poor and having a big screen tv.

From the Guardian

To quote Adrian Mole on this topic, "I would pay good money not to hear this song".

Truthfully, I know that if I died no one would notice until they wanted me for something. So it could be days or it could be months.

Cut them off. Your friend sounds like an absolute fuck who would rather suck up to someone than treat long term friends with some respect and dignity.

Grenadine does sound like it might have something to do with fruit/vegetables.

I'm in the middle of a cystic outbreak, and I've got to admit, as I read this I realised I'm probably not too far away from desperate enough to try it. I'll probably get there in December sometimes.

a small fedora filled with communicable diseases

Oh, this is all about discrediting feminism and the politicians who wore the t.

you're unfamiliar with Rita Ora that's likely because you're an American who listens to music

Seriously though, knowing all this it really makes my skin crawl to think about why she might have gotten the kid involved with the pageant circuit.

People really need to learn that the phrase "lets be friends" when used any where near a romantic relationship that's not (either being rejected before it happens, or after a relationship) is usually just a lie from which nothing good can come. When you hear it, just walk away.