He had four left feet :/

Penny Sillin?

All depends on how loosely you define "bear"

Girl is high as BALLS.

Been done, the Bass o Matic existed in the 70's

As soon as they unveiled the new uniforms, the team received requests from over 40 players to change their number to 80085.

Hmm, maybe they could make it out of wood or concrete next time and put some wheels on the bottoms of their snowboards or something.

“And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the sense? —now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well, too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a…

"120 pounds," quoth the Ravens. "Nevermore."

This is no different than how the Raiders handled JaMarcus Russell:

That's actually the recipe for Nahrungsergänzungsmittelzurp. Traditionally made with traubensaft, but grape crush will do in a pinch.

"Is that Homer Simpson? UGH. It looks like heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State."

If they ever divorce, I call dibs on "Mom."

Oh my. I'd read that the kids' names were Hunter and Forrest, but I hadn't tried to put them together with the last name.

They were just trying to save Charming. Get off their case, bro.

This is the boot-lickingest corporate shilling I've seen in a minute. I hope it's factored into your bonus at Under Armor this year; you've earned it.

you are correct, sir!

+1 "HEY-Yoooooo."

Gosh, if he truly wanted to know the answer, why didn't he just don a turban and cape and touch his head to the door?

I posted a joke, but seriously...meh. They painted their faces like the mascot. They didn't come decked out as Native Americans.