I think the pressure has gotten worse over the years. When I was in High School in the eighties, the only men that cut weight were wrestlers. The rest of us wanted to put on weight. During the 80s it was all about a hyper-muscular build. Now though, there's an obsession with the six pack and the ideal has turned 180…

No they aren't jealous. They simply believe that someone with half a fucking brain wouldn't sail around the world with a one year old who was sick. There is a concept known as Moral Hazard that says that if there are no consequences for doing stupid things you will continue to do them.

I live outside Dallas, and they roam all over the place. The storm drain system is like their personal subway.

But was the raccoon a good dancer? I've heard they're a bit clumsy.

Peacock's husband should kneecap the motherfucker. I've worn the cuckold's horns and it ain't fun. It took everything I had not to kill the guy. That and a shitload of whiskey and Prozac.

Oh God, those whiny screechy voices!!!!!

Don't forget the aging Bro sub-species with the untucked embroidered shirt, cheesy embroidered jeans, fake tan, super white veneers and skeezy shoes.

Hilarious. And that prop of Julia's mouth is obviously built to scale.

Ten seconds of this made me stabby. WHY IS HE YELLING!!!!

If I were investing in the Avengers, there is NO WAY I would cast her. The risk assessment can't be calculated using today's computers.

We have rooms where the walls are painted with white board stuff. It's fun, but the paint smells like a toxic waste dump while it's drying.

So, how is that not racist?

Leviticus 17:10: Thou women shall be clothed in skirts of denim with long hair whose ends are splitteth. They shall also wear the footwear of sensibility and the blouse of Laura Ingalls Wilder.

You know what bothers me? Facial hair in the kitchen. I was at a hipster BBQ joint the other day and the pitmaster has this long straggly ass beard. What the fuck is up with that?

Ted is dead and he is in Purgatory like LOST. (Sorry Dante)

Nicely played Miley. Katy Perry is a swirling maelstorm of hypocrisy. She has Jesus tattooed on one arm and yet she positions her chi-chis as if they were the hood ornament on a Rolls. She's drawn to men that would be best characterized as "Free Clinic Poster Boys." User, abusers and just plain losers.

Seriously. That's the newly-minted standard Gawker reply.

It might be in San Franciso

You win!

Gloria Hole