@twoeightnine: If only he hadn't turned down the offer to punt for the Syracuse football team.

Is it better to be overstuffed with guts or made of concrete cyanide?

Needs more Grey Goose.

I have a theory that Dan Bernstein isn't very bright.

Before I click on the link, how SFW is the picture of Drew?

@The Starting Line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers: His performance with the Nationals was even worse than his performance on "Girls With Low Self Esteem".

So who's going to break the news to Scott Howard?

@Turn Thabeet Around (neé Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast): Be sure that you don't invite Gallagher to throw out the first pitch.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Yeah, but he went .429/.556/1.143 against him in those 7 at bats. This just proves that A-Rod the definition of clutch.

@Head Bee Guy: Or, I suppose he does, but spends far more time emphasizing his concreteness and cyaniditude.

Nowhere in Gruden's analysis did I see the phrase "will be able to complete passes in the NFL."

@Wormfather is Wormfather: I know, especially since the public has such an intelligent and reasoned reaction to PED use.

@Father of 2 Future First Rounders: Apparently Moses Moreno was unavailable.

I believe this was announced at a fake press conference, with Steve Phillips as Norby.

GET LOST, STREET RAT

"You sure know your basketball"

"cherry pits out of one's mouth"

We can only hope that this promotion goes over better than Tim Sanchez's.

I will be the first one to lobby for Will to post his wheat toast mushrooms ramblings on Deadspin.

Isn't Clay supposed to handle SEC stories?