What the fuck? Sunk-cost jokes on Pearl Harbor Day?

Too bad Paterno got fired, he could've gotten another fossil watch to go with his Timex.

How could anybody turn down Rotella? Her pussy feels like it's always lubed.

A ban on see-through clothing won't prevent Carl Crawford from viewing some skin, he has ex-Ray vision.

provide the password: "Frick."

I'm not sure why they scheduled this in conflict with McCarver's supper time.

Don't worry, iOS 5.1 fixes Siri's "How do I sell children on the black market?" omission.

Twins for the Twins

I think Bilas dropped a Young Jeezy reference about Derek Boogard.

If I wanted to see a Weatherman wear panties, I would've paid the extra twenty grand to sit by a drunken Bill Ayers in the VIP section of that Obama fundraiser.

I'm glad the guy on the right has the panels pulled down indicating he's a cop. Otherwise you wouldn't know that if you were over a mile away from him.

There are age based differences at play here.

I imagine this is similar to how they edit Goodfellas for Alabama.

I got a chuckle out of their website, but if this drags on some players will have to take jobs that are garbage in, garbage out.

They can be promoted.

I bet he was one of those Occupy San Diego Picketters.

Of all the horrible side effects of this scandal, making me aware of Drake's existence has to be the worst.

"Coach Paterno, we'd like to present you with a woodcut of your first game at Penn State, a 7-6 victory over the Visigoths."

I can ride my bike before getting disbarred

With any luck that won't be your only brush with fame, brah. Hopefully you'll be the first guy to get his dick stuck in a meat grinder, while being raped by a narwhal, brah.