Impregnating the female players definitely takes a toll on a competitive kickball team.

When I was in 4th grade, I became a kickball legend. I was playing 2nd base, with runners on 1st and 2nd base, with no outs. Anyway, up comes the opposing team captain and he kicks a screaming line drive right to me (out #1). I catch the ball chest high, center mass. I pivot slightly to my right and notice the the…

Clearly Redacted has got it out for some girl on the team who, in turn, has got it out for some other guy on the team and Redacted is trying to buy himself some time.

isn't the whole point of co-ed adult kickball to get laid?

Derek Jeter promptly quits team

Coach: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK ANYONE ON THE TEAM UNTIL AFTER WEEK FIVE.

I realize now why players are so desperate to win titles. It gives you a blank check to do whatever you want without much criticism.

Kobe's such a great guy. He doesn't seem to understand that he's part of the reason his team is so goddamn shitty. Two more years and 49,000,000 to go!!!

Her plastic surgeon should have given her an option to let her smile or at least smirk

Hey! Remember that time Kobe went on vacation in Colorado?

In other news, the MLS Atlanta franchise have announced that their team nickname will be the "Power". Their team colors will be "White"

Yeah, 35% is better than usual for the Bucks.

Wow, inflation is crazy. For most of the year, this team was only twelve Bucks.

Dodgers fan,

Vin Scully could do play-by-play of a sex tape and make it sound classy.

God bless this living link our increasingly distant past.

I would listen to Vin Scully read a phone book

In order to maintain a semblance of her childhood while touring, Lorde's camp includes 3,000 infantry, 150 armored cavalry, a dozen trebuchets, and a phalanx of Hoplites.