Indonesia has a lot in common with the Mets, they also give two days of paternity leave before the newborn has to return to work.

This is about the only time you'll ever see, 9 out of 10 next to JR Smith's name.

The Universe could really go on Weight Watchers

The fan's standing there straight up, looking up at the ball and never moves toward Adams. No reason for Adams to shove him other than frustration,

Uhh the ball was clearly in the stands which makes it fair game and he pushed him, Reds fan did nothing wrong

I don't care how minor the shove was. You cannot take your frustration out on the fans like that. He needs to be suspended.

Lipstick TASER!!!

The Penguin's weapon of choice.

And I bet some dickhead usher was still saying "No no no. You can't sit here; your tickets are for the upper deck!"

The Ned Yost Reset: your computer locks up, display frozen, pointer not moving, extremely annoying monotone whine coming from the speaker. You wait at least a month to press restart or the power button.

Sadly, it's not the first time a pierogi race has been disrupted some extended runs.

You mean it wasn't from unsubstantiated gang ties?

So your platform is "I smoke pot."

If the mayoral thing doesn't work out, Ms. Chapman is a perfect candidate for another type of commitment.

Recruit: "Thanks for the drawing coach; it's hanging in my room right now."

That's what happens when a bar has lax security.

Maverick should just have become a commercial airline pilot. The flight scenes would be minimal. The rest of the scenes would be Mav hitting the bars and having sex with prostitutes in exotic locations around the world.

Joke's on you, Hank!

That's actually MLB's new drug testing sample collector, which makes sure it gets what it needs straight from the source.

The two aren't mutually exclusive, y'know