The Ned Yost Reset: your computer locks up, display frozen, pointer not moving, extremely annoying monotone whine coming from the speaker. You wait at least a month to press restart or the power button.

Sadly, it's not the first time a pierogi race has been disrupted some extended runs.

So your platform is "I smoke pot."

If the mayoral thing doesn't work out, Ms. Chapman is a perfect candidate for another type of commitment.

Recruit: "Thanks for the drawing coach; it's hanging in my room right now."

That's what happens when a bar has lax security.

Joke's on you, Hank!

That's actually MLB's new drug testing sample collector, which makes sure it gets what it needs straight from the source.

Would be really surprised if the Christian conservatives beat the gun nuts. Nothing beats creates a bitchfest after a school shooting.

The two aren't mutually exclusive, y'know

In defense of the Dodgers, their standard price package includes displaying the entire pre-nup at the bottom of the screen.

It looks like Frank McCourt raised the price high enough to discourage people from making the same mistake he did.

For $38.50, the Pittsburgh Pirates will display your proposal message on their scoreboard, the cheapest available option

Surely many people will raise questions about the steep price tag to propose at a Houston Astros game. But when you remember that your $500 provides the team with a season's worth of clean drinking water, it all of a sudden becomes worth it again.

The Ohio National Guard lauds the officer's restraint.

Given that Jeffrey Loria owned the team in the late 90s, and given that he currently owns a team in South Florida that also draws about 10,000 per game, perhaps you could direct your ire towards him and other owners (ie. Claude Brochu) who disaffected the fans and not the fans themselves.

Something something calling for charges... something something missed the shot anyway.

The reporter shot by the beanbag round was called for blocking.

I love that the Expos garb is still up in that joint. No joke here... have always felt bad for any fan base who lost their team.

Montreal wants a baseball team. The Rays want a dedicated fanbase. "Le Montreal Rays", anyone?