Yes! The next question is - can he suck a golf ball through a garden hose?

Well, "douche" is a French word, also.

I'd rather have Howard the Duck on my team - at least he has a better attitude!

Not to mention the crime against good taste that that those uniforms are.

And the sad thing is that hitting is a relative strength on this team.

This is where Hamm's should be. What a glaring omission!

The Gamecocks better start recruiting this kid to play hoops for them.

Agreed. That was decent analysis of the trade. Deadspin is on this guy every time he sneezes, it seems.

Greatest hair in all of sports since Valderrama

Wow - good for him!

Meanwhile, Hernandez' agent received calls of interest from the Bengals and the Raiders.

It looks like the Minnesota Lynx outdrew the Heat in their parade in 2011, too. Oh, wait...

The Seals were based in Oakland - you'd think Oakland would be a great hockey market, with the blue collar attitude and all, but didn't catch on. Also, perhaps the Sharks have benefited from being in San Jose, which is a large market with them as the only team in town.

Hell, it worked in San Jose quite nicely - I could see Seattle supporting a team, if there's enough of a scene around it.

Number of times you need to smoke crack to get addicted.

Meth tax?

Mickey Mouse is wiping the blood off of his dagger as we speak, deep in the Everglades.

Wow - LeBron now has as many rings as Adam Morrison and Luke Walton. I guess that makes him a legend.

I'm really glad that this isn't the car in Sac that had a spear chucked at it. http://news.kron4.com/news/spear-man…

I'm just glad he didn't throw it at the Vlade Divac Camaro: http://deadspin.com/old-lady-drive…