More jokes should come in .xls format

Why exactly does there have to be complete, open dialog about porn in a relationship? Many married and long-time dating friends of mine have reached basically the same agreement (either unspoken or explicitly hammered-out), that he's gonna have porn, and they both (as intelligent adults) know what he's using it for. …

We can bitch about Gawker Media's cheapness, and their inability to get even a fucking English major intern to glance over this shit before submittal.

On one hand, he was handed a plate of shit with the defensive roster on the Saints. On the other, he managed to make it even worse than its actual talent level.

The name is a reference to Lord Cornwallis cursing the city as a hotbed of revolutionary activity. When the franchise left for New Orleans, it turned from a neat historical reference to another animal mascot.

The federal government has no place in determining franchise movement.

Hey, powerless cretins associated with defeated institutions dedicated to failed ideologies flock together. That's how the old saying goes, right?

Damn

Is there a reason Deadspin won't name Prince Shembo as the athlete who assaulted Lizzie Seeberg?

How shitty is this for Lizzie Seeberg's family? The Notre Dame AD pays for an investigation, then goes on national TV and cries over a football player's fake girlfriend.

Jack Swarbrick is telling me to watch MTV. #Lookingglass

hmmm real quick think of the first two differences between Marion Jones and Lance Armstrong that come to mind

I mean, come on. These two missed a bowl game. Haven't they suffered enough?

I am going to watch just to see what legally tortured definition of his behavior he admits to. He's going to be in court the next ten years, considering how many people he's sued (or harassed with legal threats) to stop the steroids rumors. So he's got to be doing this with the thought of not saying something that…

Takes some kind of balls to put your press freebies on Ebay then write scathing articles about them, Okulski. Hell of a way to drive up the bids, though!

Maybe he sunk to the more common level of NFL discourse after realizing that despite his brave stand on gay marriage rights (where he actually faced the attempts of an actual legislator to influence his boss to silence him), he was never gonna get any ink on Deadspin as long as Chris Kluwe was here to steal his…

Great piece.

Note to Rob Parker- if you want to be the arbiter of what is real blackness and what is cornball blackness, maybe you should reinforce your credibility in this area by refusing in the future to be the House Negro for the Minstrel Sports Race-Baitin' Conversatin' Hour.

What a painfully awkward and mistaken title.

Ahh, the "not a true feminist" article. Is there a more time-honored, tried and true reliable piece of clickbait out there at all?