Not as good as pie.

I think even one baby would seem like a breeze for her after raising multiple siblings, and having to cook for 20 people at a time.

Except even if you do believe that fetuses are people, abortion is still not a genocide, unless your understanding of abortion is that every woman who has one does so out of a desire to wipe out fetuses as a class of people, as opposed to a particular fetus for a particular reason.

People like them because they function as a living cartoon of America's collective imaginary understanding of the 1950s nuclear family, with some late-twentieth century Evangelicalism mixed in for flavor. Father knows best, Mother shuts the fuck up and does all the work while smiling at Father who knows best,…

When my friend got her dog from the shelter his name was Claude, and he would only answer to French commands

but it reminds me of that great SNL sketch with Amy... RICK RICK RICK COVER FOR ME, COVER FOR ME RICK!!!"

Lemme tell you a story about boner pills. When I was in my late 30s, I finally got properly diagnosed (Bipolar II) and got a combination of meds that made me sane for the first time in my life. It was great, like being born again. After many celibate years, I even had a girlfriend, and she actually wanted to have…

An elaborate existential joke.

Wait wait wait - ONE OF THEM IS SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING PLAID.

This is an abomination!

True enough, the dessert hours were wonderful; the call from my father to help undress his bride was excruciatingly awkward, BOTH times. The things we do for the people we love...

Let me preface this by saying that men are not to blame when they get kicked in the balls.

It is tacky, stingy, and self-centered to tell someone s/he isn't authorized to bring a date to your wedding. That being said, it is a much bigger dick move for you to decide you don't want to be friends with the bride anymore, unfriend her on facebook, and then show up to her wedding so YOU can see your friends and…

He does! After seeing the movie he still came to my friend's party the same night and watched me tell jokes.

White people are so afraid of being called racist that they can't take a step back, look at their own assumptions, exercise some self awareness and say to themselves, "Yes, I am also kind of a racist, because I live in a society that, until less than 50 years ago, was trying to make white supremacy work, and my…

"Hayden Panettiere (as Juliette Barnes) is the best actor on the show..."

Aww, I love this. My cantankerous blue-collar grandfather always told little me that he wasn't going to buy me "toys and crap" but I could have all the books I wanted, so book-shopping is what we always did together.

we sang her our Frozen remix called "Do you want to go to college?"

The first post is against paparazzi posting pics of celeb kids, and then the 3rd is of North West. Is it OK to post North bc her parents are pro all types of publicity? :/