I guess she couldn't.....SAVE FACE.

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…

The gif of the kid crying is fucking tragic. The gif of the grown woman crying like a loved one just died is fucking hilarious.

I work for a family where both the gorgeous 45-year-old mom and the gorgeous 13-year-old daughter are actresses. They recently both went to a casting for a film, mom going for the mom role and daughter going for the daughter role. Daughter got called back, mom was told that she was too old. Too old to play her own…

But there lies the fault with most pro-lifers. They are usually older women or men, two populations that don't have to worry about getting pregnant, or at least that's the case with my local Planned Parenthood protesters. I really believe people like that, the ones that protest and make all the fuss, have a deep…

It's going to be hard to top literally 9/11 for bad pickup attempts.

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

The working title of this was "Antiviral: What's Bullshit On Gawker Media This Week"

Hi, Dan.

Go ahead, assholes. Tell us again how "only white people and like seven Indians" care about this issue.

Useful too if you just want to make a very small amount, I would think.

Time to call the Dynamic Duo !

Beyond the ignorance, beyond the myopic selfishness, that is the most upsetting thing to me about parents who don't vaccinate over unfounded autism fears: they would, quite literally, rather have a dead child than a child that is not their idea of "perfect."

Oh god all the feels.

I always try to keep various flavors of Polar seltzer on hand. I just discovered that black cherry seltzer and Amaretto is quite tasty and refreshing!

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

She went to prison for defending herself against men who were physically assaulting her.

I had to take a TOAD class after getting a really bad speeding ticket (ah, youth!) It's like scared straight for young drivers: grisly photos and videos of high speed crashes and their victims. I remember them explaining the different kinds of trauma from accidents at different speeds, and how different a crash at 70…

Pathologists are qualified to identify trauma sources.