Jesus clearly states in the Bible that he wrote the constitution for Corporations to prosper and shame the slimy Commies that want to tax the job creators in order to assist the poors. Jesus is a known hater of poor people...never did a thing for them.

But don’t pray too hard...I announced on Facebook that my grandfather was in the hospital, battling cancer; so many people prayed for him that he got super strong and ended up destroying like half the hospital wing. It took 9 horse tranquilizers to bring him down, it was awful.

I’m gonna treasure this moment of enjoying this mostly likable organization for now, because I know for the next ten years, I’ll be cursing this franchise into oblivion while drunkenly yelling at all of the pink hat-wearing Cubs “fans” that walk through the turnstiles of a Mariners-A’s game.

My childhood babysitter’s son in law..

Always fucking hare truthers.

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

Crush your enemies

Congratulations, you have earned 100 dillars from Deadspon.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

For all the dead ppl

My god that was stunning writing - pure and evocative and heart wrenching.

Well, see, now you're getting into abstruse quantum sports theory: if an NFL isn't exclusively a wave (that is, if it has particles), then what is an anti-NFL particle? Is it a particle with the same rules but an opposite gender? (i.e. the WFA) Is it a particle with the same gender but totally different rules (i.e.…

Keith Olberman walks into an elevator. OUCH!

And that Boston bomber survived. He was on the run, a known criminal killing and injuring hundreds yet he was not mown down in the streets. I wonder what would have happened if he was black. I wonder.

"There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys."

Jesus Christ.

Excellent piece Greg...wow.

Agreed. If there's anything good that comes out of this story, it's that at least I learned that a brave and great and wonderful girl, Jada, exists in this godforsaken cesspool called earth.