Annnd we can all tell you’re fighting your attraction to him. There is no world in which Jason Momoa is not sexy as all hell.

There are many crazy-ass supernaturals who have been created and reside in the anybody-published fantasy section of Amazon. I can’t speak to how well they are rendered and written, but the raw material is there for someone to develop into something we haven’t seen before a million times.

I see you have never met a straight man.

Listen, take it in, and don’t expect a pat on the head. Remember, as a white person, it’s not all about you anymore. Really I think what white people need to do most is STFU and let POC talk without feeling the need to say but...but...but... immediately. Yeah, maybe in some instances you are being judged entirely…

If you mean precum, this is in most cases not the equivalent. But women do get wet when aroused, and some enough to leak. Varies per person, just as in men.

Hello. Let me welcome you to the club of Old Fucks with some damn common sense. It only gets better with time.

God, I guess satire has truly died. It’s no wonder the youngs are always misunderstanding me. Sarcasm is all I speak.

But when it is it sure fucking counts.

All the more reason for the truly zaftig to just go braless—it’s supposed to be better for you anyway. Plus I like the thought of no bra truly being equal to my boobs.

Semen’s not all that gloopy after the time interval, the drainage, and the mixing with your own fluids. It’s not as bad as it sounds. NBD really. Also, babies are muuuuccchhhh messier.

I know, right. We have suffered such steps backward in the area of sex ed.

One can only put it in an hour early, actually, or the spermicide loses effectiveness.

It’s longer but not miles longer. Inches. Plus it’s usually well-lubricated and thus it’s easier to slide in. The way it goes in is by folding it up, and then it springs back into cervix-blocking shape when it gets to that point.

Nope. It elongates when aroused. Plus, your fingers are probably longer than you realize.

I used to call that the “date-induced narcolepsy.” Apparently couches are a big contributor to the disorder.

Imagine what women could accomplish if they put all the energy they put into their appearance into something more constructive.

What she said. Go with the ones you can buy online. There’s no comparison. Even cheaper than already cheap, you can buy them direct from China—just google buy ecigs from China. And thus all this drama can just be avoided.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Ohh, you done fucked with the Ninnies. You are in for it now.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a bitch, but someone needs to say it: get over your damn self. You should be so lucky.